Beginners Guide to BDSM
What is BDSM?
With theĀ release of the blockbuster hit, 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM or fetish sexual play has become increasingly more popular. But what is BDSM you ask? BDSM stands for bondage, domination, submission, and masochism. When most people think of this term they associate it with perverted or dehumanizing acts. However, BDSM can be extremely erotic and emotional. It is ultimately an exchange of power and control during sexual play.
To begin, let’s break down each part of BDSM.
Bondage
Bondage is the act of restraining someone or being restrained. During sex this can be demonstrated by using handcuffs or other materials to restrain one of the participants involved in the act. The act can be extremely sensual, as one partner pleasures the other during restraint.
Dominant
The Dominant is the person in control of the sexual activity. This can be either the man or the woman. This person is in charge of the type of activity, the pleasuring, and intensity. The relationship with the dominant and the submission requires ample amounts of communication and trust between both parties.
Submission
The person acting as the submissive, simply releases all control to the dominant. This can be done in a variety of ways. Some prefer to wear a collar, blindfolds, or ball gags. During the release of control, the submissive is pleasured. The act of taking away certain senses can make the sexual experience more intense and heighten the sensitivity.
Masochism
Any sexual gratification that comes from inducing pain or being a dominant during sexual play. Participants in this act, usually have a safe word which tells the dominant to slow down or cease the activity.
BDSM and the Bedroom
If you and your partner are tired of the vanilla and want to bring some spice into the bedroom, BDSM may be a good option for you. BDSM should always be safe, sane, and consensual for both people involved. It is best to communicate with your partner. Talk about things you want to try, what you might enjoy, and what you will do if someone is unhappy. Have a plan before beginning anything new. Establish a safe word, know your limits, and start slow. Try one new element at a time so you can decide what works and what doesn’t. This will also allow you to bring in more elements at a slower, controlled pace.
BDSM can be as simple as bringing a new toy to the bedroom that you both want to try. One person can be restrained with a silky rope, which the other is in complete control of the pleasure. You can also try blindfolding one person, while the other explores every inch of their partner’s body. As you become more comfortable with the dominant and submissive roles, you can explore other types of toys, role play, fantasies, etc.
BDSM can be a fun way to learn about your partner. It can enhance a long standing relationship by adding excitement and exploration. Check out the products we have available on our Fetish page. We offer a wide variety of options from beginner to advanced. If you have any questions or need any help, don’t hesitate to contact us.