It’s 9:30am and you’re on your second cup of coffee, begrudgingly getting ready to go into a meeting you’re pretty sure you don’t need to be in. As you walk into the room your phone vibrates, and you look to see what’s up. Your boo just sent you a message saying, “I can’t wait to put you in my mouth tonight.” Suddenly, there’s a little more pep in your step as you find your seat.
It’s 3:00pm and you can’t wait to get out of the office. Things have been crazy busy at work and you just want some time to breathe and get away from the stress. Your phone buzzes and you check the notification. It’s your one and only, telling you you’re the sexiest thing he’s ever seen, and he can’t wait to ‘see’ you tonight with his eyes, hands, and mouth. A smile crawls across your face and you suddenly feel less stressed than you did when you walked in the office doors this morning.
You’re home working on a project. You’ve been trying to get some creativity going but you’re having a bit of a block. You’ve tried all your usual methods and lightning still hasn’t struck you yet. You give your mind a break and check your phone for the first time in a few hours. Your bae sent you a little something-something…a picture that gets your creative, and private, juices flowing. Suddenly you’ve got all kinds of thoughts going on!
Regardless of the scenario, the fact is, sexting can make a fun difference in someone’s day…whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. We could all use a little phone-delight, right? So, let’s talk about how to sext sensationally!
THE ART OF A SEXT
Just like using dirty talk in the bedroom, sexting can be intimidating if you’ve never done it before. But when you follow these five starting principles, your thumbs will be typing so fast the person on the other end of their phone won’t know what hit them! All they’ll know is they love what you’re sending.
When sexting, think about the five things below. Incorporating them into what you want to say will help make the sext juicy and land the way you want.
The senses: touch, sound, sight, taste, smell
o Incorporate these things into what you say! What do you want/want them to touch? What sounds will you make? What do you want to taste?
o Ex 1, touch: “Your hard cock feels incredible”
o Ex 2, taste: “I want to taste you so bad”
o Ex 3, sound: “I want to stroke you until I hear you moan so loud the neighbors hear”
o Get out your thesaurus people! Use descriptive words and sexy adjectives. Be creative! The more specific you are in your sexy details, the better you and your partner will be able to visualize what you’re fantasizing about, and the easier it will be to keep the conversation going.
o Ex: “I want to lay you down on the bed and take off your panties with my teeth inch by inch sliding down your legs. After that I want to gently circle your clit with my tongue and I won’t stop until you tell me to.” Umm hello. Can you visualize this? Yes, please, and thank you!
Make it visual
o If you’re up to it…send a picture! I never send pictures with my face, even to my one and only. Butt pics, lingerie pics, sexy cleavage pics…send what you’re comfortable capturing on camera!
o Ex: Check out these ideas, or Google your own search of what to send!
Stroke the ego
o Everyone loves a compliment! And when it comes to sexy ones, the more compliments the merrier. Saying a sexy compliment makes your partner feel good and instills confidence in them – which will make them even more confident next time you’re ready to romp, which guarantees a great time for you!
o Ex: “Only you make me this wet.” Oh yeah. Think that’ll boost someone’s ego and make sure they maintain that title? I think so!
Engage the imagination
o Leave things up to their imagination if you want! Say just enough, but not too much. Create a sense of longing on their part…make them want it…give them something to look forward to!
o Ex: “I’m touching myself right now thinking about you.” This is a perfect way to get engage their imagination on how you’re touching yourself, where you are, what you’re wearing, etc. Imagination is a powerful tool!
PRACTICING SAFE SEXT(ING)
Now we know how to send a sexy sext. But don’t hit send just yet! Before engaging in game of whatever-you-send-is-now-in-the-possession-of-another-person, think through a couple things to help solidify your choice this is a game you want to play.
- TRUST: Make sure there is trust with the person you’re sexting. Is there a possibility they will show or tell it to others? Have you been with this person long enough to establish real trust? Be confident in the trust level between you and the person you’re sending this juicy message to before you hit send.
- PERSONAL THOUGHTS: Will you regret sending this message? Could it hurt you in some way? Would you post it on social media? Are you comfortable doing it? There is no right answer to any of the questions here, but the point is to think about the potential consequences and use your best judgment! Maybe don’t send any pictures to a new boo, and only with a long term monogamous love. Be smart!
WHEN TO SEXT
Short answer: whenever your heart (or other parts) desire! Use your intuition.
- Been having solid connection with your S.O.? Send a sext to keep it going!
- Haven’t seen your boo in a bit? Send a sext to let them know you’re thinking of them.
- Either of you been experiencing some stress and focused more on other things than each other? Send a sext to bring focus back to you two.
- Feeling disconnected or having a dry spell in your partnership? Send a sext to change the energy.
YOU decide when sexting is appropriate. YOU decide what to say. YOU decide who you sext. All I hope is that YOU enjoy the texts, and actions, that follow!