I spent most of my 20s single. Some people hate the idea of being single that long, but as your girl-boss, independent-woman-Darling-D here, I loved it! And yes, even though a lot of my other friends were getting married and having babies, I was still grateful for my state of singlehood. I definitely had my moments of wishing I had someone to spoon, and also wishing I had someone else who would ‘play’ with me (ahem…that’s what these toys are for!) but overall being single was AWESOME!
So, if you’re newly single or going for a new record of how long you’ve been single, let’s take a minute and reflect on all the pros to not having a boo with you!
1. You get to do what you want, when you want
Mmm…this one is like sweet honey to my lips. I don’t like the idea people use of having to ‘report’ or ‘tell’ someone where you are, what you’re doing, etc., but there is a truth to the underlying idea. When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to communicate and set expectations and do your best to honor those. Which means working out with your partner what each of you do and when. That helps create balance, ensures you spend quality time together, etc. But when you’re single…YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT! The only expectations you have to meet are YOUR expectations. You don’t have to share a calendar and make sure your yoga class doesn’t conflict with the double date your partner set up with his co-worker. When you’re single is the time when you have to do the least amount of work compromising on what you want because you can literally do what you want when you want to do it! That’s a lovely place to be.
2. You have more time to focus on YOU
“Self-care” is all the rage these days (and I’m all about it)! Our society teaches us to go-go-go and work-work-work and while those things are good, sometimes it creates an environment where we aren’t in tune to our truest selves, what we want and what we need. Which, ultimately, hurts us later on when we’re in a relationship. We have to take time to focus on ourselves in order to be the best version of ourselves for others. You don’t have to be single in order to do that, but man is it a bonus when you’re able to do your own self-care, self-work and me-time without also having to do it while you’re focusing on someone else as well. If you have that opportunity, take it! You may not love being single, but if you are, take that time and energy and pour it into you. I bet when your next boo-thang comes around, you’ll be a better version of yourself!
3. You have the opportunity to date, meet a lot of people, and learn what you want in a relationship
How awesome is this?! Being single gives you the opportunity to meet and see a lot of people (if you want to) so you can figure out what you want in a relationship! Not only that but going on a lot of dates can be fun! I mean, it can also be not-so-fun, because the not-so-great-dates aren’t easy to get through sometimes. But they are worth it, because you leave there knowing more about what you like, don’t like, are and aren’t attracted to. And the other dates are fun! You can go to new places, taste new foods/drinks, explore new parts of the area, etc. You can look at “having to date” as glass half empty or glass half full. I’m a see-the-sunny-side-of-things type girl, so I think this is a great part of being single! Go mingle!
4. You are able to spend time with the people you want without having to share time with your partner
When you’re single, you have full control over your time. And time, as we know, is our most precious asset in life! When you’re riding this thing called life solo, you can spend your time with whoever you want. You don’t have to worry about making sure you and your partner have enough quality time, you don’t have to worry about sharing time with both of your families, etc. You get to write your dance card (that is the oldest reference I’ve ever made and NO I’m not that old!) with the people you want and no one else has input on who your time is spent with.
5. Singles choice – you tell me!
There are SO many pros to being single. But different people view it different ways, and I’d love to hear some of the pros you guys think of about being single! Leave a comment and let’s get pumped about those of us who don’t currently have an S.O. but have lots of good things to appreciate about singlehood.
Whether you’re flying solo or with a co-captain, there are always pros and cons. But what’s important is that we appreciate whatever spot we’re in and make the most of it! So, cheers to all the single peeps out there – enjoy your solo time!
Hey everyone! I'm Darling D and so happy to be at your service here on the site. I'm a high energy lover of love, sex, and open conversations! I write posts on all relationship related topics and answer any questions you have in the Darling D advice column. I want you to have your best relationship and sex life possible!