In Sickness and in Health

In Sickness and in Health

I’m coming off a mean bout of strept throat…the one sickness that has been my nemesis since I was a child. It’s plagued me at home, on holidays, on vacations, in an airplane (took off without strept throat, landed with it), and in other countries. It is THE WORST! If you’re one of those lucky people who has never had it or has only had it a couple times in your entire life, count yourself so lucky and color me jelly!

I’ve been down for the count for a few days, and I despise when that happens. I’m so tired, need to rest, am not productive, and feel like I bring nothing to the table. Feeling less than 100% is not a good look on me. However, the plus side about me being sick is that I realize how awesome healthy-me is! I rock when I’m in the health zone!

As I laid in bed watching far too much Netflix than I prefer to admit, and as my partner did everything he could to make me feel better, it got me thinking about the well-known part of wedding vows “in sickness and in health.” And I started thinking, what are ways couples can stay healthy, and how can things still be good when one partner is sick? These are just my ideas based on personal experience, but here are some thoughts about staying healthy together and being sick together!


An apple a day keeps the doctor away

An obvious way to stay healthy is to maintain a healthy diet. But how can you make that part of your #couplegoals and not just an individual quest? You can create some goals together – what kind of foods you’d like to incorporate in your diet, what ones you’d like to leave out, how much alcohol you want to consume, etc. Set some ideas for yourselves and then make it happen together! Make grocery shopping a task for two. Share the cooking duties or split up the pre and post dinner chores. Investing in something together, like your health, makes it easier to accomplish than doing it solo!

I like to move it, move it

Once again, I’m not a doctor, but all common knowledge says to be proactive about your health you should engage in some form of exercise. I’m not a gym-going girl, but I’ve found other ways to get that exercise in. How to do it as a couple? The ideas are endless! If you have similar schedules and the weather permits, agree to go for a walk four times per week together. Go for runs together, or bike rides. Drive to the gym together while your partner takes a class and you hit the treadmill. Or gift each other with step trackers and make it a competition. Whoever loses has to buy the winner the sex toy of their choice!

Positive mind, positive vibes

Part of how to stay healthy exists in your general outlook on life. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts or spending your energy in negative spaces, more negative things are likely to come your way. So, stay healthy with your partner by keeping a positive mindset and emitting positive vibes! In your relationship, that can mean a lot of things. Talk more! Find things you both enjoy and doing them together. Find some other couple friends who bring you up. Keep it positive and you keep health proactive!


Let them feel safe enough to not do anything

The greatest gift you can give someone who is sick is creating a safe space for them to do nothing but get better. It can be hard, as certain responsibilities are inevitable, but when someone is sick not only do they feel terrible, but they also start to feel terrible about “all the things” they must do and feel bad about not getting to them fast/well enough because of their condition. If you’re the healthy partner, make your priority letting them know their only responsibility is resting, hydrating, and getting better. Clean around the house. Do the cooking. Cancel plans for them. Call their mother for them. Go on extra duty to help them not think, not have to do anything. That’s the thing about partnership – the actions will be returned to you!

Give them what they need

Everyone likes, or needs, something different when sick. Especially depending on the ailment. Does your partner need space? Give it to them, even if you just want to be with them. Do they need you to stroke their back while they lay under all the blankets? Warm up your fingers and get to rubbing. Since they can do nothing else, do they need to lay in bed and watch terrible TV or awful movies that are completely not your taste? Saddle up and sit through them or do your own thing if they don’t want your company. Support looks different for everyone, each time they’re sick. Support them the best way possible – the way they ask for it!

Let’s (still) get it on

It really grinds my gears to miss out on sexy time when me or my partner is sick. There’s already “a time of the month” when we choose to limit our options for play, but adding extra sick days on top of that? Grr! I am thankful to have a man who wants me even when I’m down for the count, and we’ve found ways to still play, once I’ve gotten passed the worst stages of sickness (because let’s be honest, if anyone is at their worst with a fever and other symptoms, no one wants to touch anyone).

Most important here: play safely! You likely don’t want to exchange bodily fluid, so let there be touching but keep your lips to yourself…from ANY place there is bodily fluid. This can be a chance to be very visual and very handsy. Perhaps with some self-touch! And using toys for self-pleasure…that sounds good too. There can be watching, and the watching can serve as the biggest turn on. No harm, no foul, no bodily fluids exchanged…but a big O for the win? I think so!

Most of the time we’re healthy, and it’s important to be proactive in staying that way! But inevitably someone will get sick, and it’s important to be a good partner when that happens. Sometimes you’ll be the patient and sometimes you’ll be the nurse, but there are ways for each partner to make sure they stay together ‘in sickness and in health.”