How and Why to Try [New Things in the Bedroom]

How and Why to try new things in the bedroom

Make outs. Hook ups. Sex sessions. I love them all. When you’re with someone new(ish), all of these things can be very exciting, very unexpected, as you learn about each other, what your styles are, etc. And then at some point, things might become a little more routine. Maybe he always goes down on you before you get on top and rock his world. Or maybe you constantly warm up with a blow job before he enters you from behind. Whatever it is, you both can often predict what’s going to go down (pun intended).

Getting familiar with your partner is a gift. There’s no denying that. But sometimes the routine can lack excitement, and that’s when there may be a need to throw a dash of spice between the sheets.


Hey, I’m fine with the idea of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ Sometimes we overcomplicate things when we don’t need to. But there are definitely some pros to switching things up in the bedroom, whenever you hit that point!

It keeps things fresh

I talked about the plus side of routines in this post. And I stand by them! But I also talked about how when routines become tired, individuals can become tired, and when someone is ‘tired’ in a relationship it can go down a negative path. Changing things up doesn’t have to mean all the time. It can be once in a while, and then go back to your usual list of what you do in the bedroom! But the little changes and new things you sprinkle in occasionally keeps things fresh, keeps you and your partner on your toes, and reduces the likelihood of someone getting ‘tired’ of the same old same old.

You continue to learn more about partner

Experimenting with a new technique, new position, new toy, or new environment creates the chance to learn more about your partner. What they like, don’t like, what you expected or didn’t expect, etc. Continuously learning about your partner should be on everyone’s #relationshipgoals list. From now until you’re rocking early bird specials together, learning all the things helps make a relationship stronger!

New experiences build more trust

When you try new things together, there is an opportunity to build more trust between you. When you break your tried-and-true bedroom to-dos and try something new, you both become vulnerable. Vulnerability is one of the scariest, most beautiful and necessary things you can do/be. And when you’re vulnerable and put your emotional ‘safety’ in someone else’s hands, there is an amazing opportunity for trust to be built. And with trust as one of the foundational pillars of a relationship, building more is always a good thing!


So you’re bought into the idea that it makes sense to do some things out of the ordinary. But how do you go about getting your partner on board?

Talk about it

You might not want to try something completely hardcore and out of the blue without a conversation first. In general, talk about bedroom things! What are each other’s hard nos? What are the boundaries you’re willing to experiment with? What curiosities do you both have, and what things are you interested in trying? Knowing those things will help make the efforts in the bedroom more comfortable for both of you.

Take it slow

It’s important to go at the pace you’re both comfortable, or at the pace that matches the more apprehensive partner. Some people are more open to trying new things than others, so making sure both partners are comfortable will help ensure trying new things continues to happen. Being patient in this case will ultimately bring more pleasure in the end!

Be safe

If you’re going big-time with toys like handcuffs, whips, and the like – have appropriate tools ready if necessary! Know where the keys are. Have a safe word. Make sure you and your partner listen to each other and remember your boundaries. Like I say to people as part of my goodbye routine: “be safe, have fun!”


When things are new, it’s sometimes hard to even think of where to start! Below are some of my recommendations to try, depending on what might break the mold for your usual bedroom routine.

Get buzzed

o   Add a vibrator! It helps stimulate women, and some guys like the way it feels on them too. Example: He might like how it feels it while they’re in you while you use it on you from the outside. There are so many different kinds. Check out which ones you might enjoy and get buzzy!

Be a different kind of anal

o   Interested in finding out if that hole is an out AND an in hole? Go for it! Try a vibrator made for the rear end or see what you think about beads or a plug.

Get cocky

o   Let him rock the toy, while you feel the effects too. Cock rings can be great! There are vibrating cock rings and non-vibrating cock rings. Take a look and take your pick!

Restrain yourself

o   Ooh, the use of some cuffs or restraints! Play with power here, give it up or take control. Let yourself surrender and enjoy! They can range from innocent to hardcore. Know your boundaries and curiosities as discussed and choose what fits the bill.

Feel the flog

o   You’ve seen Fifty Shades of Grey. See what fun flogging is all about! The touch of those strands on your body…there are lots of options to choose from!

Feel those magic fingers

o   Massages for the win, always. Introduce oils, lotions or candles to make it just right. Or use a tool to make it a massage your partner will never forget!

Create a win-win

o   Nervous or feel awkward about coming up with ideas yourself? I’m all about using someone else’s creativity. Use a dice game or card game and follow what they say. You don’t have to use your brain power, only your sexual power!


The only thing constant in life is change, they say. Don’t be afraid to change things up in the bedroom – big or small, often or infrequently. Embrace the change, see what you like, and go from there! And have an O!-mazing time doing it. That’s what Couples Toy Store is here to help guarantee!