Let’s [Not] Talk about Sex

I get it. Sex can be a taboo topic for some people. And societally speaking, it’s still one of those things that, although sexualization is EVERYWHERE, unless it’s in mass media form we’re supposed to keep it on the down-low.

BUT I DON’T WANNA NOT TALK ABOUT SEX!

Same here! And the same goes for Jon and Jane who founded this website. The mission at Couples Toy Store is to help couples enhance the passion. That is a courageous and honorable thing to do – help other people bring a little extra joy, fun, and spark to their [love] lives. Who DOESN’T want a little more of that?! And yet, it’s not always looked upon that way. Insert crying emoji here.

OH, THE CONVOS I’VE HAD

In real life Darling D talk: Not everyone in my life knows I’m Darling D for this website. When the site launched, I told a select few people I knew would support me, the mission, and the idea of normalizing conversations about sex, sex health, and relationships. And there are plenty of people I’ve told along the way that I decided to trust with my alias. But trust me – there are still a lot of people I have not told, knowing they are uncomfortable talking about intimate topics. Even if [to me] that might seem silly, people’s feelings are their feelings and I will never try to take that away from them. And so, it is what it is. I’ve gotten good with my situation and I’m comfortable telling people about Darling D who I think will be down to know about it. But outside of my experience as Darling D, it’s not just me who thinks we should talk about sex. Doctors and sexperts galore have found many reasons that bringing this topic to the table is good for all of us – our health, our confidence, and our happiness.

LET’S DISCUSS!

There are lotsssssss of reasons experts have found why talking about sex is a healthy thing to do. The list below contains my favorites:

1. Talking about sex allows lines of communication to stay open

If you follow our blog here at Couples Toy Store, you know that we are huge fans of communication in relationships (not only in romantic relationships, but in all relationships). Sex is a big part of romantic relationships, so if you don’t talk about sex with your partner, you are essentially ignoring a large part of your relationship. Not talking about sex is like trying to hide something in your house – but you and your partner both know it’s there. By talking about sex, it keeps communication lines open.

2. Talking about sex helps us understand our partners and ourselves

This is so mutually beneficial in a relationship! When we talk about sex, it helps us understands our partners more – how they feel, what they want, what they don’t want, what they think, etc. It’s a part of continually dating your partner, which is key to a successful relationship! Not only does it help you understand them more, but by talking about sex it helps you understand yourself more. It keeps us honest about those things for ourselves – what we think, what we want, etc. It doesn’t do our partners any good to keep all that stuff inside our heads. Talking about it helps us understand each other as partners!

3. Talking about sex helps us stay curious

This one is an additional part to reason number two. When we talk about sex, it allows us to listen, learn, and ask questions. It allows us an opportunity to explore new things, ideas, and thoughts. We might get excited about something our partner says or suggests. We might get terrified of something our partner shared and we need to explore more information in order to understand more. Curiosity is all about learning. When we stop learning, we stop growing. If we want our sex lives to continue to grow, we have to be willing to talk about sex!

4. Talking about sex reduces our fears about sex

And oh, there are fears! We’re afraid of what we don’t know. We’re afraid of being found out about things we don’t know. We’re afraid of rejection, of being exposed, of being looked at as weird. We’re afraid to be the only person talking about it – so instead, we remain silent like everyone else. But the only way to overcome our fears is by talking about them (and sex)! It’s like most things we’re afraid of – the best way to get over our fears is to tackle them head on. And once we tackle the fear, we often realize we were way more afraid than necessary! And every time we tackle the fear, it gets smaller and smaller. By talking about sex, we take away our fears, which makes us more empowered – especially when it comes to sex!

5. Talking about sex normalizes talking about sex

And this, my favorite of them all. We shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to talk about sex! And when we talk about sex, it reduces our feelings of feeling weird talking about it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Let’s do it!

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY!

“Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that can be.” I can’t believe I waited this long to type those lyrics, considering the song has been in my head since I started writing this post (thank you Salt-N-Pepa for this classic jam!). I hope this compiled list from lots of people who know lots of things helps you gain comfort in the idea of talking about sex – with your partner, with your future partner, with anyone in your network who just might need to talk about something sex-related. Of course, there are good times and not-so-good times to bring up the topic – but the point is to talk about it! So, let’s get to chatting!